Roger and Clarisse were doting grandparents and wonderful secondary caregivers for their two granddaughters. They treasured every opportunity to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives—they knew their role was important.
But after attending a grandparenting study by Legacy Coalition, an evangelical ministry aimed at equipping grandparents to be disciple-makers of their grandchildren, they started to see their role differently.
“Of course, I was already a grandfather,” Roger said. “In fact, I was a Christian grandfather. But it had never occurred to me to be an intentional Christian grandfather.”
As he got a clearer picture of how God sees the role of grandparenting, his approach to his grandchildren began to change. “Now, every time I see my granddaughters I think about how I can influence them for Christ,” he said.
He started talking more with them about Christ; he prayed more with them and read Bible stories to them. Having a vision of the spiritual significance of his role as a grandfather changed everything.
Many grandparents are like Roger and Clarisse were. They find meaning through helping their children raise their families. They love their grandkids, even spoil them a little. They don’t see the greater call.
Scripture’s view of grandparenting
My wife, Diane, and I became convinced of this greater call a few years ago. It started with “seeing with new eyes” a familiar passage of Scripture, Deuteronomy 4:9. In fact, it started with seeing the little word and.
Because of that single word, Diane and I moved—for the specific purpose of fulfilling the command that followed it. The verse says, “Teach them to your children and your grandchildren” (NKJV). We realized that we were to teach two generations, not just one. We were to be spiritual influencers. And, we knew it would be easier to fulfill that command from nearby than from 1,800 miles away.
Moving isn’t the point: it may not be necessary, desirable or even possible for you. Seeing what Scripture has to say and obeying it is the point.
And whether it is through the simple command in Deuteronomy 4:9, or the many passages that use the phrase “generation to generation,” the active role of a grandparent is a pattern regularly implied in God’s Word.
Psalm 78:5-7 spells out the multigenerational vision that God wants grandparents to think and act on: “He commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands” (NIV).
Did you see that? According to Deuteronomy, we are to teach two generations, but according to this passage, we are to think four! Let’s put ourselves in the role of the “ancestors”: we (generation one) are to teach our children (generation two) about the things of God so the grandchildren not yet born (three) would know them, and they in turn will tell their children (four). We must desire that a generation beyond the one not yet born will follow God. More than a desire, it must be a strong passion and a vision that guides our talk and activities with our grandchildren.
The incredible potential for discipleship
Grandparent, are you aware of your power for influence? You are second only to the parents in your potential to impact your grandchildren spiritually.
Grandma, you have much more potential for influence than a Sunday school teacher. My children’s ministry friends tell me the average child attends church 1.3 to two times a month. That means a Sunday school teacher will see an individual child for only 15 to 25 hours in a given year. Grandpa, you have so much more to offer: your unconditional love for your grandchild, your seasoned perspective, and your willingness to spend time with them make you an ideal disciple-maker. Are you getting the picture?
Of course, potential influence doesn’t mean there is automatic impact. There are so many barriers to influencing grandkids spiritually. In just our small circle of friends, Janet has a granddaughter who lives in Sweden. Bill and Teresa’s grandkids live with an estranged daughter-in-law. Tina is a single grandma on a limited income, and the “other grandparents” are wealthy and shower expensive gifts on her grandkids. Pete and Barb’s son and family are into sports, and spiritual things are not important to them. Winnie’s daughter has walked away from her Christian faith and converted to Buddhism.
So, yes, there are many obstacles. But the potential for impact is still there. Roger and Clarisse weren’t living up to their potential, even though there were no barriers.
How about you? Could you “up your game?” As you think about the importance of your role, could you connect with your teenage grandkids more frequently? Could you read Bible stories to your adorable toddlers? Could you tell your grandkids your faith journey? Could you devote more time to praying for their salvation?
It’s important. It’s really important. Why don’t you start today? ©2024 Larry Fowler
The Scripture verse marked NIV is taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version. The verse marked NKJV is taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version.
Larry Fowler is founder and CEO of Legacy Coalition. For more information about intentional Christian grandparenting, check out the Legacy Coalition at legacycoalition.com.
Photograph: Courtesy of Larry Fowler